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Good or Bad? I still have more to come...
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Tue Jan 15, 2008 2:59 am
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Correlohn
Odd at Heart: Moderator
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Joined: 08 Jan 2008
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Location: Under the desk making out with Aelita
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Post subject: This is from where the series leaves S4...
This is my story and I am just deciding to put it on becouse I want to have something to show.

Chapter 1- An Old Friend

The night was young, silent, and dark. Little white speaks brightened the sky. Trees were everywhere as well as grass and weeds circling a fence that serounded a house that has a sigh labeled 'Hermitage'. There was some russling within the yard as some sobbing started. A girl about the age of 16 started walking into the house. She bore a face full of knoledge and tears as she slowly made her way to the house. When she was at the door ahe fell and ripping her pink jumper. As she got up there was a shock of pain and she yelped. A moment later she regained the strength to move on into the house completely ignoreing the pain. She twisted the handle and walked into the door. When she opened it there was a hallway of shadows for the electricity did not work in this old abandond house.

As she walked in she went up some stairs and went into a room that look like a once habitable place. In the middle of the room lay a couch were the girl walked. When she got to the point she pulled a doll out of her pocket that looked like an elf, sat down, and broke into tears. Time flew by and about a quarter of an hour later a hand erached out and touched the girl's shoulder,"Are you okay, Aelita?" She jumped with a start to turn around and see a boy in a blue top and kaki pants wearing glasses and bearing a worried expression.

"Jeremy! I miss my father. Why couldn't we bring him back from Lyoko when we had the chance?", she cried out as she jumped into Jeremy's arms.

"We all tried Aelita but we didn't have enough energy to power up the program needed to destroy X.A.N.A. He sacrifiesed h-", he was interupted as a loud caughing came from the first level of the house directly from where they were at. They ran down to the first floor and found the spot where the noise came from. Jeremy put his head down on the dusty carpet, ear down, and tried to figure out what was down there. "Stand back Aelita. I'm going to try to take apart the carpet." He pulled out a knife as Aelita backed up but found that there was no need. Underneath all of the dust and carpet was a zipper, Jeremy unzipped it to find a safe about as large as he laid out. He looked at Aelita he seemed equally suspicious. He shrugged and started to crack the safe's code when it opened.

"Who *caugh* are y- *caugh*?", said the old man dressed in a sweater and pants. He had glasses and a buchy beard. He lokked past Jeremy who froze and then to Aelita who started her crying as she jumped up onto the man.

"Daddy!", she screamed.

The man looked like he to was about to surt into tears as well. He looked past her and into Jeremy's eyes. "Hey there young man. Might I ask what your name is?"

Jeremy was still frozen at the site of France Hopper. Aelita took over and walked over to him, placed an arm around him and said,"This is Jeremy, one of the former Lyoko warriors."

Jeremy managed to shake France's hand before Aelita's father whispered,"I think you two would make a wonderful pair..." before Jeremy blushed beyond the possible limits of the universe.




Hope you guys enjoy! Very Happy
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Tue Jan 15, 2008 10:48 pm
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aura-chimera
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aside from the speling it'sgood. hooray for details! My freind who writes naruto-lyoko fics. still needs them more. This your first story?
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Tue Jan 15, 2008 11:22 pm
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Correlohn
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Thanks... I am not a good speller when it comes to a computer... I am a very discriptive person when I want to be, and no I am busy making a story to publish and make a career out of. I only have 1 page out of it but if you want I'll type it up... My main genre in fantasy...
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Wed Jan 16, 2008 1:17 am
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aura-chimera
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cool. I'm only writing lyoko fics. right now, but I'll probably start wrinting invader Zim, card caaptors Or soething soon. So what's the career story about?
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Wed Jan 16, 2008 4:39 am
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Correlohn
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You'll see. The name is 'A Twist in Blood'. It is a fantasy story and I'll post it up over the weekened... I hope that you like it!
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Wed Jan 16, 2008 2:11 pm
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dobermutt
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That's good. I like your story a lot! I give it two thumbs up! (And one smily Very Happy )
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Wed Jan 16, 2008 10:05 pm
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Correlohn
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Lol! Sillies! I'll post later on tonight when I get off of school...
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Thu Jan 17, 2008 8:03 pm
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Correlohn
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Ok sorry I didn't post last night but I have writer's block and I NEED ideas badly... Thanks in prep.



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